[Jim can practically hear his own pulse in his ears. His breaths are measured because no matter how much their open link distracted him, Spock was still buried in him up to the hilt. He may have backed away from the edge quite a bit but he was far from not needing satiation. However, for now, he allows Spock in, distracted enough by the physical to let some of his deeply buried worries about their relationship surface--his first serious relationship and how it scares him because dammit, he's had a reason not to get attached all these years. That reason is still there but it's different with Spock. He's seen that they just work and they could be on the same ship together--And that part is all well and good but is he enough? Is he allowed? Is it possible for him to have a relationship not predicated on sex? Is it possible for him to satisfy a partner in any manner but the physical?
These ugly thoughts are there and gone, not sticking around for further contemplation. Jim isn't even consciously aware they've surfaced. He's gone back to thinking about how achingly hard he is but showing remarkable self-restraint in not moving to jerk himself off yet.]
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These ugly thoughts are there and gone, not sticking around for further contemplation. Jim isn't even consciously aware they've surfaced. He's gone back to thinking about how achingly hard he is but showing remarkable self-restraint in not moving to jerk himself off yet.]