[ The rest of Spock's tension melts away at the kiss, leaving him feeling much more grounded now, his earlier hesitation gone.
As the kiss continues, it grows more bold, deepening with fervor now, and Spock switches easily to speaking telepathically again, not wanting to break the kiss. ]
[Jim is relieved when the hesitation passes, eagerly allowing the deepening of the kiss.
At the choice of telepathic words, his chest clenches again. He responds with an air of acquiescence, not knowing how else to respond other than to trust Spock completely to do as he wanted.]
[ Spock continues to deepen the kiss, only pulling back when they both require air, though when he pulls back, it's with one last nip to Jim's lower lip.
As they both just breathe for a moment, Spock moves to remove his own top, leaving him as bare chested as Jim. He moves in once more when it's off, still gaining his own breath as he begins the slow process of mapping out Jim's lower half now. One might think the slow removal of clothing might be arousing, and in a sense it is, but with Spock's purposeful, measured pace, it's strangely more endearing than anything else.
His hands follow the curves of Jim's hips, moving from his straddling position over Jim to slide further down the bed, gently tugging down his clothing as he goes. ]
[When Spock removes his own shirt, Jim immediately places his hands over the newly bared skin, running them over the planes of his collar bones, his shoulders, his chest. If he's honest, it's taking a lot of effort not to pick up the pace himself. He's mostly curious at the mood and pace Spock is setting, so he holds back.
He only helps by lifting his hips to get the clothing down his legs properly, feeling oddly bare when he usually doesn't think twice about being naked.]
[ When Spock detects that hint of self-consciousness, he pauses in his lavishing attention on Jim's lower half (though, perhaps strangely, Spock is avoiding his more private areas, instead concentrating on his other bits of skin), leaning back up to kiss him soundly, a cool hand curling at the back of his neck. He continues until the sense of bareness fades from Jim's mind. ]
[That was strange--at least to Jim--but he doesn't have much time to contemplate it with the firm kiss that comes his way. Jim indulges himself in it, his own hands coming up to play at the waistband of Spock's pants, fingers running up and under it, general question arising across their link of whether Spock wants to run the show and have Jim be more responsive, or if Spock wants him to participate more freely.
The self-consciousness fades quickly enough, again overtaken by curiosity.]
[ Spock actually encourages Jim's playing with this pajama bottoms, the ultimate goal is for them to be naked together. He leaves the answer for Jim to decide, but Spock's plan is still forefront in his mind.
Once his bottoms are off, Jim will see that Spock is already on his way to hardness, his cock standing at half attention. But he seems to ignore himself for the moment, turning his concentration back on Jim. He slides back down the bed when Jim's self-consciousness ebbs away, directing his mouth to leave a cool trail down the side of his hip, dragging his teeth along the way. It's like he's trying to memorize every inch of Jim's body again, a hand running down the inside of his thigh and calf before he switches sides to cover the same areas. ]
[Being this deliberate with his movements, like Spock has never seen him before, tugs at something deep within him.
He's much more affected than Spock--completely hard at this point, but still too curious about Spock's actions to encourage him to move faster. He's not sure whether he wants to lean back and just feel or continue watching what Spock is doing, mesmerized by the attention that's being lavished on him. For now though, he keeps his undivided attention on Spock.]
[ The rose gold thread originating from their bond reaches out over the link, reaching out to that deep feeling, straining to bring it out closer to the surface, illuminating it with the thread's glow. Spock glances up at Jim every so often,his lips still trailing along his skin as he meets and hold Jim's eyes for a few seconds then closing as he concentrates on suckling a particular patch of skin.
Spock goes down as far as Jim's knees before he starts to sit back up. He lays a cool hand on Jim's side, encouraging him to roll onto his side. While he rolls, Spock reaches for the nearby nightstand, having supplied its drawer with lube long ago when it was clear Jim would frequently come over. He shifts to lay on his own side behind Jim, his front to Jim's back, hand trailing along his shoulder and down his hip. ]
[Okay yes, Jim is glad he's watching now when Spock goes to look up at him. That rose gold thread pulls up that awe once more at seeing Spock work him over so thoroughly--there's no reason to do it except for Jim's benefit that he can think of. Of course, it's working in making Jim want more, faster but there's something, well, far more emotional to it that he doesn't want to skip out on right this second.
He does as Spock prompts, turning onto his side, a slight shiver running down his spine between the proximity of Spock's body to his own and the light touches down his side. He does his best to project how much he's enjoying this while keeping his desire to go faster at bay.]
[ He presses close to Jim's body, one arm holding him close from underneath, the other sliding down his backside. He prepares his fingers while he kisses and suckles at the back of Jim's neck, pulling his mouth back only when he slides his fingers inside.
Like all his other movements so far, he prepares Jim slowly, letting Jim feel every slide of fingers inside him, every sensation Spock draws out of him. He hoods Jim close while doing this, his other cool hand pressed over Jim's heart. ]
[Spock draws out small groans--some palpable from deep within his chest--from Jim when his fingers hit particularly sensitive areas. One hand reaches back behind him to run his fingers through Spock's hair, somewhat roughly grabbing at it. He doesn't realize he's being a bit rough, instead focusing on Spock's movements and where his cool skin makes contact. And when he's wrapped up like this, it's easy to let himself go and lose himself in sensation.]+
[ He lingers in those areas, fingertips pressing against them for longer and longer increments, gradually adding more fingers to prepare Jim. Spock doesn't even mind the hair-grabbing, merely turning his head where Jim pulls him, pressing his mouth where he can – against Jim's hairline, behind his ear, teeth dragging across his earlobe.
After several full, long minutes Spock begins to withdraw his fingers, one at a time just as how they went in. He only takes a moment to prepare his own self before he shifts on the bed, scooting closer to press in. Spock grips Jim's hip to hold him steady as he begins to press in, resting his forehead against the back of Jim's shoulder. He seats himself inside Jim just as slow as anything else he's done so far, probably agonizingly slow for Jim's taste.
Though once he's pressed in ... he simply holds there, unmoving. The grip on Jim's hip is firm, his body cool against Jim's back but his breath warm against Jim's neck. ]
[There's nothing stopping the bursts of pleasure from feeding back across their bond and link when those fingers find precisely the right spots.
The pace is torturous and it's a good thing Spock has a grip on Jim's hip--he will feel Jim try to struggle to meet him, to sink himself further and faster to satiate his impatience. As it is though, his breath hitches at the sensation of fullness, needing Spock to at least start moving if he wasn't allowing Jim to do so.
The hand that had been gripping at Spock's hair moves instead to grip at his thigh, a not-so-subtle hint at what Jim wants.
All the while, the sluggish pace causes Jim to really feel, not simply go through motions to get to the end-game.]
[ And it seems that is Spock's goal here to really make Jim feel. The feedback he gets from Jim sparks across his body as if he were the one experiencing it and leaves streaks of pleasure across his mind, but he still remains unmoving, showing incredible amounts of restraint and patience.
He emits a loud groan in Jim's ear when his thigh is grabbed, Jim's fingers still deliciously rough and sending shockwaves of pleasure along his nerve-endings, but he barely makes any forward motion into Jim. Only enough to seat himself more fully and then back to motionless. He shares along the link just how good this feels, how right it is to be here in this moment with Jim. The same sentiment is echoed behind his words as he gasps low and familiar into Jim's ear, ] Slow down, and lie still with me ...
[He's so used to their usual frenzied pace that he mentally acknowledges that it only made sense that Vulcans could show that frustratingly calm control in bed as well.
He can feel the reverberations of pleasure coming back across their physical touch and their bond, shooting straight to his groin. His heart pounds as he thinks Spock is getting ready to move inside him. Jim lets out a frustrated gasp that's immediately soothed by the emotion projected along the link behind Spock's action (or more, inaction) that makes his heart ache.
Jim brings that hand back up behind him to gently hold Spock's head there near his ear, other hand coming up to thread his fingers through Spock's long green ones over his heart. He's breathing heavily trying to calm his racing pulse and...well, do as Spock requests. He stills as best he can, trying not to rock his hips, instead focusing on how complete he feels when they have so much telepathic openness between them. The gentle ebb and flow of thoughts and feelings across the expanse of their mindscapes combined with physical sensations brings a sort of peace to his ego he hasn't known otherwise.]
[ Yes. This is what Spock wanted for Jim, for both of them, this deep sense of just belonging in the moment. The physical is well and good and pleasing, but to satisfy the mind and heart has much more positive effects.
Spock opens the link as wide as he dares, still careful of his own walls—the last thing he wants with this is for his grief to overshadow this sense of peace—but it's like every other door has been thrown wide, open to its fullest capacity to allow Jim in, joining their minds as well as their bodies.
And when the urgency for the physical has calmed in Jim, with the pleasure of the self starts to eclipse the flesh,that's when Spock starts to move within Jim. An incredibly measured pace at first, nearly drawing all the way out only to push all the way in, it takes nearly a full ten seconds for one thrust. Spock presses his face into the back of Jim's neck as he moves slowly, his breath stirring the short hairs there. ]
[The pace is agonizing but being able to feel every last centimeter is its own type of thrilling, Jim is discovering. There's a long, low moan from the back of his throat as the gentle grip he had had on Spock's head turns a bit stronger, fingernails digging into his scalp as though needing the grounding.
Mentally, he fully envelops himself in Spock's mind, a sense of belonging that he hasn't really felt before there overtaking him.]
[ On a bit of a whim, one he can't even identify until it just happens, Spock closes his mouth at the junction of Jim's neck and shoulder, biting down at the spot at Jim's groan. His teeth dig in a bit harder, in sync with Jim's own grip on his hair. Spock gradually increases the pace with every thrust; it's nowhere near their usual, manic encounters, all heat and speed and quick, needy release. Like stoking a fire between them, the deep golden embers start to flare in their bond as well. It takes a few minutes, but then Spock is rocking against Jim, building to that all-consuming fire of release.
But just before the embers and the heat in their bodies start to blaze, before the physical need to go faster can overtake them, Spock slows again, coming to a halt and holding Jim that much tighter against chest. Spock is almost painfully hard inside of Jim now, but he controls his own urge to keep going, keep moving into Jim in order for Jim to experience this. ]
[The bite adds to the intensity, shooting sparks throughout his body, reveling in the increase in pace. He welcomes the heat flaring between them along their bond, so close to igniting, he's right on the edge of oblivion--
Jim nearly chokes when Spock suddenly stops. His complaint comes out weakly in a harsh whisper, desperate for release.]
[ Spock groans loudly in Jim's ear when he tenses at the sudden stop, his own body craving the same release. ]
Just wait, ashayam—[ Spock chokes out in a low, strangled murmur, concentrating on keeping himself still. He doesn't even notice the Vulcan word he said just now, or the way the hand on Jim's chest is gripping him tightly, fingers hooked and digging into his skin. ]
[Well goddamn if that at least doesn't make Jim feel a bit better for suddenly tearing him back from the edge, knowing that Spock at least was having some control issues himself. He would have the marks on his chest to prove it. The word that Spock uttered though...he doesn't recognize it. He files it away for another time when he's not feeling betrayed at being denied his orgasm.
He's doing his best to do as Spock says, but it's increasingly difficult, his body backing away from release to his dismay. Mentally, he's all but verbally begging for it.]
[ He'll feel bad about the marks later, but at least Spock's holding back from his full strength, not wanting to breaking anything, just breathing harshly against Jim's skin.
As a means of distraction, Spock releases Jim's hip, trusting him to stay still. He trails his hand up Jim's side, cool fingers a delicious contrasts to heated skin. Spock nips at Jim's earlobe, and he widens the link even further, sharing his thoughts and sensations as he traces over Jim's skin, pulling both of their minds away from the physical side, away from the consuming heat. ]
[Jim doesn't betray that trust, instead now distracted with the new physical sensations. A shiver runs through him and Jim makes sure Spock can feel everything, including the mild frustration at not being allowed to orgasm quite yet. He sinks further into Spock's mindscape, instead letting those more tender emotions come forth, and letting Spock feel them as strongly as their wide open link allows.]
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As the kiss continues, it grows more bold, deepening with fervor now, and Spock switches easily to speaking telepathically again, not wanting to break the kiss. ]
Allow me to cherish you.
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At the choice of telepathic words, his chest clenches again. He responds with an air of acquiescence, not knowing how else to respond other than to trust Spock completely to do as he wanted.]
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As they both just breathe for a moment, Spock moves to remove his own top, leaving him as bare chested as Jim. He moves in once more when it's off, still gaining his own breath as he begins the slow process of mapping out Jim's lower half now. One might think the slow removal of clothing might be arousing, and in a sense it is, but with Spock's purposeful, measured pace, it's strangely more endearing than anything else.
His hands follow the curves of Jim's hips, moving from his straddling position over Jim to slide further down the bed, gently tugging down his clothing as he goes. ]
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He only helps by lifting his hips to get the clothing down his legs properly, feeling oddly bare when he usually doesn't think twice about being naked.]
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The self-consciousness fades quickly enough, again overtaken by curiosity.]
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Once his bottoms are off, Jim will see that Spock is already on his way to hardness, his cock standing at half attention. But he seems to ignore himself for the moment, turning his concentration back on Jim. He slides back down the bed when Jim's self-consciousness ebbs away, directing his mouth to leave a cool trail down the side of his hip, dragging his teeth along the way. It's like he's trying to memorize every inch of Jim's body again, a hand running down the inside of his thigh and calf before he switches sides to cover the same areas. ]
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He's much more affected than Spock--completely hard at this point, but still too curious about Spock's actions to encourage him to move faster. He's not sure whether he wants to lean back and just feel or continue watching what Spock is doing, mesmerized by the attention that's being lavished on him. For now though, he keeps his undivided attention on Spock.]
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Spock goes down as far as Jim's knees before he starts to sit back up. He lays a cool hand on Jim's side, encouraging him to roll onto his side. While he rolls, Spock reaches for the nearby nightstand, having supplied its drawer with lube long ago when it was clear Jim would frequently come over. He shifts to lay on his own side behind Jim, his front to Jim's back, hand trailing along his shoulder and down his hip. ]
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He does as Spock prompts, turning onto his side, a slight shiver running down his spine between the proximity of Spock's body to his own and the light touches down his side. He does his best to project how much he's enjoying this while keeping his desire to go faster at bay.]
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Like all his other movements so far, he prepares Jim slowly, letting Jim feel every slide of fingers inside him, every sensation Spock draws out of him. He hoods Jim close while doing this, his other cool hand pressed over Jim's heart. ]
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After several full, long minutes Spock begins to withdraw his fingers, one at a time just as how they went in. He only takes a moment to prepare his own self before he shifts on the bed, scooting closer to press in. Spock grips Jim's hip to hold him steady as he begins to press in, resting his forehead against the back of Jim's shoulder. He seats himself inside Jim just as slow as anything else he's done so far, probably agonizingly slow for Jim's taste.
Though once he's pressed in ... he simply holds there, unmoving. The grip on Jim's hip is firm, his body cool against Jim's back but his breath warm against Jim's neck. ]
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The pace is torturous and it's a good thing Spock has a grip on Jim's hip--he will feel Jim try to struggle to meet him, to sink himself further and faster to satiate his impatience. As it is though, his breath hitches at the sensation of fullness, needing Spock to at least start moving if he wasn't allowing Jim to do so.
The hand that had been gripping at Spock's hair moves instead to grip at his thigh, a not-so-subtle hint at what Jim wants.
All the while, the sluggish pace causes Jim to really feel, not simply go through motions to get to the end-game.]
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He emits a loud groan in Jim's ear when his thigh is grabbed, Jim's fingers still deliciously rough and sending shockwaves of pleasure along his nerve-endings, but he barely makes any forward motion into Jim. Only enough to seat himself more fully and then back to motionless. He shares along the link just how good this feels, how right it is to be here in this moment with Jim. The same sentiment is echoed behind his words as he gasps low and familiar into Jim's ear, ] Slow down, and lie still with me ...
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He can feel the reverberations of pleasure coming back across their physical touch and their bond, shooting straight to his groin. His heart pounds as he thinks Spock is getting ready to move inside him. Jim lets out a frustrated gasp that's immediately soothed by the emotion projected along the link behind Spock's action (or more, inaction) that makes his heart ache.
Jim brings that hand back up behind him to gently hold Spock's head there near his ear, other hand coming up to thread his fingers through Spock's long green ones over his heart. He's breathing heavily trying to calm his racing pulse and...well, do as Spock requests. He stills as best he can, trying not to rock his hips, instead focusing on how complete he feels when they have so much telepathic openness between them. The gentle ebb and flow of thoughts and feelings across the expanse of their mindscapes combined with physical sensations brings a sort of peace to his ego he hasn't known otherwise.]
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Spock opens the link as wide as he dares, still careful of his own walls—the last thing he wants with this is for his grief to overshadow this sense of peace—but it's like every other door has been thrown wide, open to its fullest capacity to allow Jim in, joining their minds as well as their bodies.
And when the urgency for the physical has calmed in Jim, with the pleasure of the self starts to eclipse the flesh,that's when Spock starts to move within Jim. An incredibly measured pace at first, nearly drawing all the way out only to push all the way in, it takes nearly a full ten seconds for one thrust. Spock presses his face into the back of Jim's neck as he moves slowly, his breath stirring the short hairs there. ]
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Mentally, he fully envelops himself in Spock's mind, a sense of belonging that he hasn't really felt before there overtaking him.]
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But just before the embers and the heat in their bodies start to blaze, before the physical need to go faster can overtake them, Spock slows again, coming to a halt and holding Jim that much tighter against chest. Spock is almost painfully hard inside of Jim now, but he controls his own urge to keep going, keep moving into Jim in order for Jim to experience this. ]
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Jim nearly chokes when Spock suddenly stops. His complaint comes out weakly in a harsh whisper, desperate for release.]
Jesus, Spock...!
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Just wait, ashayam—[ Spock chokes out in a low, strangled murmur, concentrating on keeping himself still. He doesn't even notice the Vulcan word he said just now, or the way the hand on Jim's chest is gripping him tightly, fingers hooked and digging into his skin. ]
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He's doing his best to do as Spock says, but it's increasingly difficult, his body backing away from release to his dismay. Mentally, he's all but verbally begging for it.]
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As a means of distraction, Spock releases Jim's hip, trusting him to stay still. He trails his hand up Jim's side, cool fingers a delicious contrasts to heated skin. Spock nips at Jim's earlobe, and he widens the link even further, sharing his thoughts and sensations as he traces over Jim's skin, pulling both of their minds away from the physical side, away from the consuming heat. ]
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